#226: Romi Neustadt on How You Can Have It All (Just Not at the Same Time)

I’m guessing you became self-employed because you wanted a better life for yourself. 

Maybe you wanted more time or freedom.  

Or you wanted to do better financially. 

Either way, you made a choice most people don’t dare to make. Which makes you more ambitious than most of your peers.  

But there’s a dark side to that ambition. You can start out trying to achieve everything … and end up underachieving in everything. 

That’s a terrible place to be  and a place many of us find ourselves in. 

In today’s podcast episode, we’re addressing this challenge head onMy guest is Romi Neustadtmother of two, wife, daughter, bestselling author, speaker, entrepreneur, and coach.  

Romi has figured out how to have it all. And it boils down to setting and maintaining priorities. 

The notes that follow are a very basic, unedited summary of the show. There’s a lot more detail in the audio version. You can listen to the show using the audio player below. Or you can subscribe in iTunes to get this show delivered straight to the Podcasts app on your smart phone, tablet or iPod. 


Tell us about yourself and the kind of work you do 

She was a top journalism student in school but took the safe route and went to law school. Later, she transitioned to a career in public relations.  

Eventually, she caught the entrepreneurial bug and grew a direct sales skin care business across four countriesShe’s mentored tens of thousands of women and is having a blast.  

Through it all, Romi had to learn how to live the life she wanted without going crazy. She put that lesson into her second bookYou Can Have It All, Just Not at the Same Damn Time! 

Today, she continues to grow her business, and she’s a busy mom to an elevenyear old and fourteenyear old. 

Many of my coaching clients start out trying to achieve everything… and end up underachieving in everything. I see this especially with women. How can we figure out what to focus on?? 

We’re in an epidemic of unrealistic expectations. We try to be all things to all people We don’t want to disappoint anyone, and so we never get to what’s important to us (if we even know what that is).  

When Romi was 42, she looked like she had it all from the outside. But she felt empty. She had never taken the time to figure out her priorities. And she was confusing priorities with goals.  

Priorities are things that are important to us right now. Not serving them is non-negotiable. You can only have two to three priorities at any given time.  

Once you have your priorities, you can set goals that serve themA goal is something in your future you’re willing to invest time, effort and energy into achieving 

When your priorities and goals aren’t aligned, we feel stressed, scattered, unfulfilled and overwhelmed 

When our priorities and goals aren’t aligned, we feel stressed and unfulfilled.  

Romi revisits her priorities at least every year — and sometimes quarterly — and sets goals that align with them.  

Lots of people struggle to say no. Do you find that women struggle with this more than men? 

Women don’t say no enough. We put too much on our plates. It exhausts us and prevents us from achieving the things we want.  

We want to please people. We don’t want to be judged by fellow parents, coaches and teachers.  

The more we know our priorities, the easier it is to say no and not care what others think.  

And living your own truth is a great example to set for your kids.  

The more we know our priorities, the easier it is to say no and not care what others think.  

So how DO we say no? 

When you get a request, take a moment to examine it. Is it serving one of your goals and priorities? 

If not, decline the request as quickly as possible.  

Do it without apologizing. Don’t say, “I’m sorry.” You’re not sorry for living your truth!  

Recently, Romi was asked to help organize a conference. She responded:  

“Thank you so much for thinking of me. I’m flattered and honored. I don’t have the bandwidth right now, and this doesn’t fall into my focus this year. This deserves someone who can give it their all, and that’s not me. I wish you every success, and I know you’ll find the right person.” 

How can we establish and maintain boundaries that stick with coworkers, friends and family?? 

Boundaries are essential to get to what you want in life.  

We need boundaries to protect our timeWe need to proactively dictate where our time goes.  

Romi is religious about scheduling all aspects of her life. She’s in charge of her schedule and puts the most important things in her schedule first.  

All client calls are scheduled. When she starts a client call, she always reminds the client how much time they have. This helps keep the conversation on task and helps to focus on developing solutions, not complaining about problems. 

We also need boundaries to protect our emotions and energy. We need these to do creative work. If we’re drained, we can’t be creative.  

Sometimes you have to recategorize or eliminate people in your life. Spend your time with people you elevate you, not drag you down.  

Where can listeners learn more about you?? 

Romi’s website: 


Romi’s book and community: 


Facebook: @RomiNeustadtBiz 

Instagram: @RomiNeustadt 


By the way… whenever you’re ready, here are 4 ways I can help you grow your freelance business:

1. Grab a copy of my book for ESTABLISHED writers.

You’ll discover a different way to think about your challenges during this crisis. Plus you’ll get clear recommendations to get you through the storm safely … and to come out the other side stronger than ever. — Click Here

2. Download a free copy of my book for writers who are NEW TO FREELANCING.

I’ll show you the 3 things you need to do to get your business off the ground safely and land your first paying client faster.  Click Here

3. Join my implementation program and be a case study.

I’m putting together a new implementation group this month. If you’d like to work with me to grow your income quickly with better clients (and become one of my new success stories) … just hit reply and put “Case Study” in the subject line.

4. Work with me privately.

If you’re a 6-figure writer who’s trying to earn more in less time, with less stress, I might be able to help you get there faster than you think. Just hit reply, put “Breakthrough” in the subject line, and I’ll back to you with more details.